Freelancing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I have to be fairly creative in order to finish projects to earn a few bucks while mothering my children at home, full-time. Today we headed to McDonalds for breakfast. Not because I’m a slacker-mom who doesn’t care that her children eat a kazillion grams of saturated fat in one meal (although I am that too sometimes), but because I have an editing project that needs to be finished by 5pm today. Funny how my children can entertain themselves for hours on end at Micky D’s playland (except, of course, today).
So after Zack pushed a little girl FOR THE SECOND TIME, I rounded my crew up to leave (after spending maybe 20 minutes on my project) only to discover that Kaleb had filled his water cup with Gatorade. “It’s water, Mom. It just looks like Gatorade.” What am I, stupid? Because this Gatorade, or should I say magic water, was electric blue! And all this after a fairly thorough conversation on why we don’t fill our water cups with juice because MOMMY DIDN’T PAY FOR IT! It’s stealing, and just bad karma.
So I force Kaleb to a McDonalds’ cash register where I make him tell the nice lady that he filled his water cup with Gatorade.
Blank look. “That’s okay,” she finally says.
“No,” I say. “It’s not. We need to pay for it.”
Another blank look. And then no answer.
“She’s trying to teach the kid honesty,” the lady next to her says. “Charge her for one small drink.”
$1.06. That’s how much Kaleb is currently indebted to me. Mother. Moral Compass. Guardian of His Soul. Sheesh, this job gets harder the older they get. I know, I sound just a tad sanctimoneious and even more melodramatic, but is anyone else overwhelmed by the gravity of this task? Raising moral children.
So now Kaleb must do extra chores at a quarter a piece. And once he earns a buck 25, he can pay me back for the 12 oz. Gatorade. He’s already taken the food storage downstairs. Next he cleans the bathroom (Mom types as she emits evil laughter. Muu-ah-ah-ah).