Thursday, October 25, 2007

ALOHAlloween

I'm going to have to take a break from my blog (officially)--at least from posting regularly. Until I get a better handle on things, I'll only post my column here. You people are great! I hope to be back soon...

My children have finally decided what they’re going to be for Halloween this year. Indecisive. Yep. That’s right. They are going to be wishy-washy, can’t-decide, too-late-to-actually-buy-something-at-the-store werechildren.

It’s not that they haven’t had ideas. No, they’ve been full of those. Kaleb has already run through the following options: the Avatar, a white ninja, a red ninja, Yoda, Batman, anything with a cape, anything with face paint, anything with a sword. Leah, on the other hand, has tossed around the following: Wonder Woman, a ladybug, a butterfly, anything with makeup, anything with jewelry, and Lilly Lightly Princess of all the Twinkles and Glows. But ask any of them what they want to be today and everyday until Halloween and they’ll say, “I’m not sure yet.” Zack, the only one who can make a solid decision around here, wants to be Lightning McQueen.

And when it comes to costuming, I wish I was more creative, in a Martha Stewart kind of way. I’ve seen countless adorable costumes and have tried to convince my children to try any one of them: a Crayola crayon, a deviled egg (complete with horns), a sack of potatoes, an Ompa Lumpa, a garden knome, the Hamburglar, a Lego, and my personal favorite, a bag of butter-flavored microwave popcorn. But they’re not biting. “Mom,” Leah said to me, rolling her eyes, “Those aren’t real Halloween costumes.”

To encourage my children to choose, and quickly, I have prepared backup costumes for them should they wait until October 30th to put something together. Kaleb can borrow any one of his sister’s princess costumes. And Leah can be a baseball player. Funny how they’re now extremely motivated to decide.

In actuality I’m a big fan of Halloween. For one day of the year you can pretend to be whatever you like. Albert Einstein, a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, Donald Trump, Ryan Seacrest, an Ompa Lumpa, or a Lego. Your options are only limited by your imagination. So think big, people!

I, on the other hand, have known what I want to be for a few months now. On vacation. Yep. That’s right. On Halloween I want to be a tourist in Hawaii. A really authentic one. With a muumuu, a flower lei, and a box of Macadamian chocolates. Oh, and a plane ticket. One way.

Aloha and Happy Halloween!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Thanks for your support!

To all of you who emailed and have continued to check back, the twins are faring well. Another Cat Scan revealed the bleeding has been contained to one side of the brain which is good news. This little gals seem to have new battles daily, but they're both fighters. I promise to keep everyone posted as I learn more myself. Thanks so much for your prayers!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Please Pray for My Brother's Babies

Last Sunday my sister-in-law had twin baby girls, beautiful Ava and Emma. While they were more than two and a half months premature they were life-flighted to a larger hospital in Spokane, WA, where the babies seemed to be doing well. Until today.

Apparently Cats Scans indicate that both girls have blood on the brain. You can imagine that we’re all extremely worried, and the burden my brother and sister-in-law, Jeremy and Natalie, currently bear is unimaginable. Please pray for them and their girls. They’ll be running some tests on Sunday morning that will provide them with more information. We’re all praying that information will be hopeful and positive. We’re also praying that Jeremy and Natalie will be granted peace of heart and spirit. If you could, please, offer a prayer for them and their beautiful babies.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Popcorn Cancer

So did you hear the news? Apparently butter-flavored microwave popcorn causes lung cancer. Not that I think the Universe is listening or anything, but I take issue with that.
Initially they thought only factory workers were coming down with this rare type of lung cancer, called bronchiolitis obliterans or “popcorn workers’ lung” (I’m not making this stuff up). But then they found this 53-year old man with an acute fondness for microwave popcorn; he eats it twice a day and breaks open each bag to take a whiff of the buttery vapors. Apparently, that can kill you.

I’ve spent thirty odd years of my life avoiding the big vices. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I’ve never done drugs. And I don’t wear white after Labor Day. But I am a diet coke fan and eat my fair share of butter-flavored microwave popcorn. And wouldn’t you know it, the popcorn’s gonna do me in. (Although I may not sniff the popcorn steam, I do lick the butter off the bag. Is that so bad?)

I would like to propose a solution. If anyone would be interested in signing a petition, I would like to ask God to take both popcorn cancer and breast cancer off the table. And as long as we’re asking, colon cancer, prostate cancer, and leukemia (go for the gold, right?). Because as far as cancer goes, those seem especially unreasonable.

I’m guessing that He’s going to want something in return, being a just God and all. To sweeten the deal, I say we throw in a few carcinogens of our choosing. Win, win, right?

So here’s my list (feel free to email me with more) of things that should cause cancer: telemarketing, flipping the bird (because really, people, can’t we just all get along?), not allowing someone to merge even though they’ve been signaling for three blocks, green ketchup (that’s just wrong), cleaning the toilet, nylons, Monday Night Football (okay, okay, it’s off the list…), dressing room mirrors and fluorescent lighting (that’s a combo deal), bullying, name-calling, rolling your eyes at your mother, blowing your nose on anything but tissue paper, and being a Paris Hilton fan. There. That’s a solid list, right?

Now we know why I’m not God. But if I were, microwave popcorn would definitely not cause cancer. (And fudge-covered Oreo cookies would be fat-free.)

Amen.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Thanks, Long Overdue

Eileen over at A Life of Triggers gave me this Reflections Award (I heart you, Eileen!). Ain’t it purty? And because Eileen’s blog is so genuine, so open, and reflective, it means even more that the award came from her (please read her blog—she shares so much of herself it makes me cry almost everytime I read it).


And to share the love I’m giving this same award to these lovelies…

I Can Fly, Just Not Up…I know. I’m always giving Heather awards, but she’s just dandy! And her blog is open and genuine. One of my absolute favorites…

Cheerio Road…a blog I’ve recently discovered, Karen’s posts are always so thought-provoking (Plus, she’s a Zen Buddhist Priest. How cool is that!).

The Prairie Preacher…who is very open and honest about his life in transition. And doesn’t it just make you happy to read good guy blogs?

Now I have to say that as much as I love getting awards, I hate nominating others for them because there are so many bloggers out there that I just love to pieces (you know who you are—at least I hope you do…). I can’t say enough about what a wonderful support community I’ve found in blogging. (*blowing kisses*). You're all swell!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Back for Now

Sorry, people. I did, in fact, fall off the face of the earth and have just clawed my way home. Unfortunately, I haven’t been lounging my life away (although if anyone knows where I can apply for THAT job, do tell…). My absence included all of the following: the arrival of my soon-to-be ex in-laws who are temporarily residing in my home, a road trip to Boise, approximately 52 hours of intoxicating family time, three emotional and pseudo psycho outbursts directed at the soon-to-be ex Hub, a broken water heater, and the creation of an underground blog that may have saved my life. Phew.

I’m better now.

More on all that later…