eChristmas

Santa is back on speed dial.  In fact, just yesterday, during a conversation with one of his elves, my youngest was placed on probation.  I’m to fax, email, or text verification of his niceness within the next 5 days before the Big Guy will validate Zack’s Christmas list.  I couldn’t be happier that Santa has joined the technology revolution.

For the past four year, I’ve become a big fan of technology myself.  But never more than during the holidays when the snow is high, the roads are slick, and the retail lines are longer than church on Christmas.  These days, I get my shop on online.  I’ve become giddy for electronic shopping carts, secure servers, and eBay’s outbid notification service.  (The fact that Al Gore allegedly invented the Internet is enough to place him on my Christmas card list.)  

This year I’ve done all my major Christmas shopping online, and it began with Virtual Black Friday—a blessed event that only required me to stay awake until midnight in my jammies in order to secure those deals.  Packages arrive at my door like magic and remain unhampered and snoop-free until they’re wrapped and placed under the tree.  It’s like I’ve discovered the Holy Grail of Retail.  Does anyone else get this excited to click the “checkout” button? 

Even Twitter, which I’ve never really understood, has helped hundreds of consumers tweet their way from real-time bargains to parking spaces.  That and you can find out what brand of toilet paper Ashton Kutcher uses.

I’m sending all my Christmas cards via Facebook this year.  That’s right.  What’s the use of having 350 friends if you can’t send them electronic holiday greetings?  Don’t ask me how I befriended so many people (I’m still awaiting friend confirmation from Keanu Reeves).  My regular Christmas card list was never that long.

This will be our first Christmas in our new digs.  When Spunk (the one on probation) asked if Santa will know where to find him, I was happy to announce that his sleigh comes fully equipped with both GPS and a child-specific locator application (and, I’m guessing, complimentary On Star service, because, well, he’s Santa!).

But regardless of all the technological advances, Christmas is still the same.  My To-Do List is a mile long, and I’m still running about a week late.  My kids are begging me to put up Christmas lights outside, and I’m still afraid of the ladder.  And Spunk, of course, is still on Naughty Watch.

Happy Holidays, everyone!