Friday, September 19, 2008

Diving off the Wagon

Since joining Weight Watchers this April I have lost a total of 45.2 pounds. And while that alone is fabulous, I confess that this past week I fell off the wagon. And by “fell” I mean I was trampled by the wagon and dragged for two blocks with a Fundido in my hand. Here’s how it went down.

It’s was a girls night out and we had decided to see a movie. We were hungry but the movie was at seven so we decided to wait and have dinner later. For a reformed popcorn addict that was my first mistake.

We ordered the jumbo combo which included a refillable tub of popcorn without butter (wink wink). And then we got to business.

To say I daintily snacked on the popcorn while journeying to the center of the earth with Brandon Frasier would be dishonest. There were witnesses. I upended the barrel of popcorn and was back for a refill before the opening credits. I apologize to all the movie patrons surrounding me that might have been frightened by the display. I was on popcorn overload and cannot be blamed for my actions.

After consuming enough Weight Watchers points to power the Olympic swim team, the gals and I decided to go lite—we went to a Mexican restaurant for dinner.

The rest is all a blur. There were bottomless chips and salsa and fried tortillas smothered in cheese and sour cream, all atop rice and beans. I had to undo my top button just to look at the food. And it would be a lie if I told you I didn’t consider licking my plate after I had finished. Yes. I ate all that the night before my weekly weigh-in.

The next morning I awoke with a popcorn hangover. My tongue was swollen as were other unmentionable parts of my body. And the scale and I still had a showdown.
To make a long story short, we weighed in. And by some freak of biology my BFF and I had each lost one pound.

I formally apologize to the Weight Watchers facilitator who was conducting a meeting during our weight-loss miracle (and please don’t ask them to recalibrate the scales after that). We (and by “we” I mean “I”) interrupted her motivational speech by telling the entire group that we had fallen off the wagon by eating countless points worth of unbuttered (wink, wink) popcorn and Mexican Fundidos. And we were still big losers.

FYI, I did climb back on the wagon (without the Fundido). And no, they didn’t suspend my Weight Watchers membership, although after this post they just might.

16 comments:

Suburban Correspondent said...

Sometimes, you've just got to cut loose, you know?

45 pounds is fantastic!

Rachel said...

girl... if THAT is falling off the wagon.. you must do WW commercials. My night off the wagon would probably be triple the points!! You are awesome. 46 lbs?? Way to go!

Kristi O said...

holy cow sister!!!!! 46 lbs, you are a ROCK STAR!!! Congrats and oh my gosh, that is so COOL!!!!

GustoBones said...

45lbs is really something to be proud of. Going all out for a night will not do you in, as your "weigh in" can attest!! I have been working out every day(except Sunday) for 3 weeks now and I haven't seen the scale drop quite as much as I would like. I think I need to cut back on what I am eating more than I am. You've inspired me!!

Crazed Nitwit said...

Sounds like you had a fabulous time. Good for you! Great story.

Anonymous said...

No need to loathe yourself for your failure. I'm loathing you enough for your success! (Kidding.)

Reverend Shawn said...

CONGRATULATIONS !!!!
45 lbs is NOTHING to sneeze at, and gorging on Popcorn and Mexican ... well, you were due for a celebration Shauna, don't be too hard on yourself ...

just reveal in the weight loss by gluttony fold in the time space continuum you discovered ... NOW, if you could find it again and WRITE an instruction book for the rest of us to find it - YOU'D BE WEALTHY, FAMOUS AND HOT!!!

good luck - keep us posted ...

jen said...

Everyone needs a girls night out once in a while!! Plus, now you know you can dive off the wagon and pretend it never happened! love ya, congrats on your success!!

Melodrama Mama said...

Your weight loss accomplishment is awesome! And a quick trip off the wagon is sometimes a wonderful thing.....it's just the remembering to get back on the next day that's the trick!

Congratulations!

shauna said...

Guys--you're too kind. What I failed to mention here is that at the time of this wagon-incident I hadn't lost any weight for a month. I had gone up and/or stayed the same, so this pound brought me back down to my plateau. But I'm not complaining. I got to eat Fundidos!

pinkmorning said...

wow, congratulations on the weight loss! That is awesome!

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that there's a cap on how many calories go to your ass in one sitting. Like, if you eat 400 calories or 4,000, only 400 show up on your derrier. Yeah, it's like STATISTICALLY proven by SCIENTISTS and stuff. So I say, if you're gonna binge, BINGE like it's going out of style! ;) And anyhow, the amount of weight you've lost so far is unbelievable. You go girl!

Tola said...

So Proud Of You for 45.2 lbs!

Carrie Wilson Link said...

See? That just proves the adage, "Everything in moderation, including moderation!"

Anonymous said...

I so know this story! Except the part about loosing 45 pounds, congratulations, that is so great! I do so well, get to about 20 pounds down and a bucket of movie popcorn can start the feeding frenzy within me, quicker than anything.

I am glad to hear you climbed back on the wagon. So many time, this is where I let the wagon go on without me. Only to try to find it again MONTHS or YEARS later.

You really are doing great! You have me inspired.

XXXXX

Anonymous said...

Shawna,
I deleted A Life of Triggers. Long story, total impulse, but overall good. I am actually using my first name now, instead of my middle. Please visit.
XXXXX