I think I realized just how frumpy I’d become when my daughter informed me that the neighbor girl had said I was a “little fat.” My lovely daughter defended my honor and told me that she had said, in no uncertain terms, that her mommy is NOT fat. Bless her heart. I was flattered that the neighbor girl just said a little.
But I’m doing my best to defrump myself. My hair’s been coifed and colored for two weeks now. And while I’ve taken that first big step towards overcoming my Salonaphobia I have yet to tackle that aversion to healthy food. The one that’s made me a “little fat.” And a lot frumpy.
So last night, after one Last Supper at Wendy’s, I joined Weight Watchers.
Shortly after 7:30pm on Thursday night I was weighed in. I was assigned a healthy weight range. I was told about points. I was feeling thin already.
When joining any weight-loss plan one should journey with a friend, preferably the one who’s always told you that you’re not fat at all. I brought mine with me last night. And, happenstance, she weighed in at just .4 pounds more than me. She also happens to be 3 inches taller, but who’s counting, right? The best thing was she had the enthusiasm of someone twice her size. Throughout the entire meeting she acted like a Baptist at a Sunday revival. Only instead of “amen” or “hallelujah” she said “right on,” threatening a very weak hold on my composure.
But the fun stopped there when the facilitator, in attempts to demonstrate just how the point system works, asked me to share with the group what I had eaten for breakfast. Of course that’s what I had been dreading all day long on this, my last day fraternizing with Trans fats and fast food: the food confession.
“Uhm… A Sonic breakfast burrito…”
“A burrito?” She began thumbing through her book.
“Bacon, egg, and cheese,” I added. “With tater tots.”
“And a large diet coke with lemon.”
The dear facilitator skipped me and asked the lady to my left instead.
Okay, so maybe I got off on the wrong foot. But I am off. Off and running away from Frumpyville.
And as I was told last night, they’ll be seeing less of me next week (as long as I start seeing less of Sonic. And Wendy’s. And…).