In an amazing act of faith, my Weight Watchers buddy and I donned our swimming suits and took “before” pictures of one another in my playroom.
Let me preface this by saying that even when I was thin (size 11 is thin to me) you wouldn’t find me dead in a swimming suit. (Unless, of course, I had drowned in a swimming pool and the handsome lifeguard had to rip off my tank top and cover-up shorts in a valiant attempt to save my life.)
But yes, we decided (and without the help of mind-altering medication) to document just how big we are (and by “we” I mean “me” because really, my friend’s a reed in the wind). And isn’t it amazing how your mind often protects you from the truth, convincing you that you’re not as wide as you really are. Because when you see the picture you realize it appears as if you have swallowed a Frito Lay truck. Whole. Generally speaking, of course.
So now I have blackmail-worthy photos on my camera and I’m afraid to download them to my computer. Because my laptop screen is seventeen inches wide and displays with amazing clarity. You do the math.
It’s startling how quickly one can lose their modesty, and not for the reasons you might assume. Last night we weighed in, once again. I showed up in light-weight knit clothing. I went to the bathroom before I stepped on the scale. I would have gotten naked in front of the nearly 15 other women waiting for their turn if they had let me.
First I’m in an amateur photo shoot in my swimsuit. Next, I’m getting arrested for indecent exposure at the local Weight Watchers. I’m on a new slippery slope here, people.
But even wearing clothing we lost ten pounds total. 10 pounds! (And not to brag, but I am. 6.4 of it was mine. All mine!) That’s the size of a baby. And not a newborn either, but a chunky Gerber baby. It may have had something to do with all those light and airy thoughts we were thinking. To quote my friend: “I am light as a frickin’ feather.” I tell ya, that’s the Law of Attraction in action right there.
And as much as you’ve probably enjoyed hearing all about my big ole self, I swear that this blog will not become a weight loss diary. I also promise never to inflict you with my “before” pictures.
The “after” pictures? I can’t promise anything.