Tuesday, March 04, 2008

A Rose by Any Other Name Still Smells Better Than Cat Puke

Is it just me or do all moms test far too many things with their noses throughout the course of the day? Just yesterday I sniffed at the milk to see if it had turned, checked some bed sheets to see if I could smell pee, followed a nasty trail to the basement where our cat had gotten sick, sniffed through a pile of clothes to see if they were dirty, and tracked down my son’s moldy snow boots. (Picture me, the ginormous nose with a Sherlock Holmes cap on top…)

Was it pregnancy that heightened my sense of smell? I can root out the one poopy child in a room of twenty. I can find that one (okay, maybe two...all right...three!) rotten Tupperware containers at the back of my frig. I can walk into a room and within seconds drop to my knees in search of an accosting odor. (This superpower only seems to have two loopholes: one, all raw meat smells bad to me, and two, I cannot find whatever has crawled into the back of my minivan to die, regardless of two excavations and countless Lysol interventions).

I just wonder why I continue to bring suspicious item after suspicious item under my nose to smell it? If it’s suspicious in the first place, shouldn’t I keep it away from my face? If the underpants MAY smell like pee, isn’t it worth the extra detergent to forgo the sniff test?

You know, I learned this from my mother. But at least I didn’t acquire my father’s talent. The Taster. I know, that sounds much more appealing than The Sniffer, but imagine if you will the following conversation from my youth:

Mom: [smelling the milk] Ralph, will you taste this? It smells bad.
Dad: [Drinking the milk.] Yep. It’s bad.

That’s my dad. Keeping the rest of us safe from the sour milk of the world. Me? I’m just exercising the soiled sheets and cat puke from my house.

It’s a tough job. But somebody’s gotta smell it (hahahaha. Get it? I crack myself up sometimes…)

31 comments:

JaniceNW said...

Oh my gosh, I think our noses were separated at birth! I am the same way except I don't sniff much. I can smell stuff going bad weeks before the men. It's a mixed blessing esp. when one is in college where teens wear waaaaaay too much cologne!!!!!

Gustogirl said...

HAhaha, that is funny. Another less than glamorous job we moms get to have. Smelling things in an attempt to keep our kids, cars, houses and fridges clean. I agree with the raw meat thing, it throws me off too!!

Tola said...

your dad is an angel, and ive always loved him!

MELODRAMA MAMA said...

That is too funny! The conversation between your Mon and Dad reminds me of an old Saturday Night Live with Tom Hanks. He and his 'wife' were smelling the overly used cat liter, tasting the sour milk, stiing on a sharp nail, falling down the stairs because a step was loose...It was hilarious. And thank you for reminding me of why I do not have a pet.

AND- on an unrelated note -I LOVE Jacob Black! I think that Twilight is the best book of the series, in terms of a good plot, but my favorite is New Moon because of Jacob. Why are all these people worked up over Edward? He is obviously taken and a control freak. Plus, I would much rather snuggle up to a warm blooded, muscled up, hopped-up-on-wolfiness, boy rather than an ice cold marble statue.

And with that, I will go and act like an adult, instead of some weird 30 something crushing on fictional teenaged werewolf!

RachelT said...

Hilarious! I never htought about it... but i do think that was a gift taht came with motherhood.

Rosie said...

I also have an overactive smeller. I often think that it is a curse because often I am the only one that can smell something. It makes me crazy! I know that pregnancy made this happen to me. I still have to be careful with perfume.

Erin said...

Jason must have acquired that specific gift from your dad. I make him taste things all the time...and he does!

Nancy said...

LOVE-THIS-POST! It must be a weird transformation we go through in pregnancy that gives us the power to smell anything; the same thing that allows us to hold out our hands to be spit into. AHHHH Motherhood...

Spammon said...

Before we knew (3 weeks) we were going to have our first, we were down at Lake Powell. We were standing on the beach and Lindsey says: "I smell blueberries. Does anyone want blueberries?"

Grapes?? There aren't any blueberries within 50 miles of here.

To which I replied: "What...are you pregnant?"

3 weeks later...yes.

shauna said...

Nancy--that is a post in and of itself. Only in motherhood would you hold out cupped hands for someone to vomit into! Or spit out something icky...

Erin--that's too funny! I wonder now at how my dad would do it without question. I guess that's why Jason's first real name is Ralph.

Tola--I'm lucky to have two dads. Both of them fabulous!

Rosie & Janicenw--I go crazy when I can smell too much perfume or cologne. Argh...

Gustogirl--hamburger is the worst for me.

Linds said...

I can't smell out gross stuff... I have a really weak gag reflex. And I'm not complaining that I do either!

shauna said...

Spammon, Blueberries more than 50 miles away. Wow. Those are some serious sniffing skills.

Linds, I wish I couldn't sniff out the gross stuff either. Oh for a weak gag reflex (my daughter seems to have that too--it's activated as soon as she senses corn...).

Chris said...

I can smell everything too. I know mine is from pregnancy. From the minute I got pregnant with my first I was the giant nose. It never went away. I can smell the iron in Cheerios. :-0

motherbumper said...

I swear that pregnancy enhances the sense of smell. One time while in my last trimester, I was in one of those crowded sushi bars and the guy the next table over had the worst breath. Each time he talked I had to put a napkin to my face. And he wasn't even at the same table! Oh, and don't worry - I have at LEAST three suspicious tupperwares at the back of my fridge ;)

Carrie Wilson Link said...

You crack me up, too!

Janice said...

I smell everything- I am always asking the hubby, Do you smell that?

Eileen said...

I'm with Janice, I think our noses were separted at birth. I do the exact same thing...every place I go. It drives people crazy, including my husband, who swears I am having hallucinations. I am ready to toss our green chair out to the curb because I swear I can't get the smell of our dog out of it (it is my reading chair, and she is not suppose to read in it, but when I am at work, she does because of the hair all over it). My van...I can't even go there. I have spent so much on Yankee Candle air stuff and Lysol, fabreez, etc. Raw meat, hubby won't let me cook it, cause I will toss it. I don't know if it is a curse or gift.
This was one, very, very funny post.
Love you.
XOXOX
left you something on my blog

Life As I Know It said...

Funny!
Yes, I smell stuff all day. My favorite is holding my son's bum
up to my nose to see if it's time for a diaper change.
Good times.

Tari said...

Phew, am I glad I don't have your job. I hate to smell bad smells. Sour milk is the worst. I don't even smell it if it's past the date on the side of the carton it's in the garbage. Panties and sheets that are questionable go right in the wash, I don't need to smell that any more than necessary.

jen said...

oh the vision of mom and dad in that scene cracks me up!! I totally remember that. I am the smeller but Adam wont get near anything that I say smells bad...he is a little bit of a sissy when it comes to smells. I think he has a bad gag reflex too. Oh, and random comment about Jacob Black...I too love him and would totally go with him rather than Edward. I am all about being warm. love ya lots! thanks for bringing a smile to my face again.

Cheffie-Mom said...

Oh my gosh, I can totally relate! hehe and laughed so hard about you smelling and your husband tasting the milk. Sounds just like my husband! I think a mothers senses are hightened to extreme when have children. Well, I love your blogs, and would love to hear from you. My website is iovercookedmyfamily.com. Hope to hear from you soon!!!

The Rose Family said...

I can vouch for the super-uber sense of smell. I've had a hard time going to the mall-- the food court is like pregnant nose hell! But, speaking as a Rose, I'd like to say thanks for telling everyone that I smell better than puke.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

ha ha ha!

Nicholas recently spilled A LOT of milk in my car - and didn't tell me that it happened - and my car ended up smelling like rotting milk for days. It was horrible.

pinks & blues girls said...

I have such a strong sensitivity to smell that I often just breathe through my mouth so i don't have to smell certain things!!

Jane, Pinks & Blues

jason said...

I will leave my two cents on this "RALPH" (I think I can speak for both of us) guy! All things that smell bad do not always taste bad like for instance....

...... Can’t think of any right now while I am on the spot but we all know there are some out there. Haven't you seen Bizarre Foods on TV!!

Bizarre Foods -
http://www.travelchannel.com/TV_Shows/Bizarre_Foods

Gustogirl said...

I have been thinking about you! You haven't posted in awhile and I just hope that everything is ok. We are headed off for awhile, but I wanted to let you know that I have been thinking about you and hope all is well.

Kapuananiokalaniakea said...

Ah, the smell gene. I can come in a room that is completely occupied by people who have failed to smell the foul odor. In spite of this "talent", I need to stick my entire nose in the offensive smell to verify that it really is as bad as I thought it was. I must learn to have a little more faith in myself!

JaniceNW said...

Happy Easter Shauna!!

Tari said...

Happy Easter! I miss you. Hope you'll post soon.

Melodrama Mama said...

Hey Shauna - I am hoping that you had a good Easter and that all is well!

Jamie said...

Great to meet you the other night at CPS! (Note: not Child Protective Services!) My mom used to smell everything, not just smell but shove it up her nose. It always grossed me out, so I never smell stuff up close. I think it IS worth the extra detergent to wash again!!