Now that Mothers Day has come and gone I’ve had the chance to think about lessons motherhood has taught me so far. Here are just a few:
- I can stand to see a fair amount of blood without getting faint.
- You can make a child scream simply by pointing tweezers at a sliver in their foot.
- Sometimes Mothers Day sucks (still bitter, I know).
- There is no amount of timeout that will deter a three-year old from emptying the ashes from a fireplace, twice!
- Children look cutest after making the biggest messes.
- If you think one itsy bitsy negative thought, the Universe will multiply that thought by the number of children you have and return it to you (Law of Distraction). Hence, the last time we went to Sonic, all three of my children spilled their fry sauce in the back seat of the car.
- To a three-year old, a litter box is an indoor sandbox.
- The laundry shoot is the first place to look for missing kitchen utensils.
- Regardless of how you slice it, the Daddy Voice is much more effective than the Mommy Voice.
- A toilet brush can disappear from our home without a trace (although I’m sure there’s a microscopic trail that runs through every room in the house. Call in CSI!).
Please, add your own!