Saturday, May 26, 2007

The Potty Training Diaries, Entry #1

I know, I know. I should've taken care of this months ago. Believe me, I tried, but now that the child is three we're down to the wire. If anything this post will tickle all those moms who still have potty-training resistant children under three. Yes, you are better mommies than I…

Today is the first day of Potty Training Bootcamp. Hopefully, the end of this post will mark the successful deposit of one, if not multiple, pee pee’s or poo-poo’s into the "potty."

Day One—I went to three stores, count them, THREE stores, to find padded training pants. The Super K is the winner of today’s potty-trainer-friendly award. And now I’m worried the boy’s bladder is going to explode. He knows enough to hold it for hours at a time. And all we got today was a wet pull-up from his nap and wet, padded undies around 6pm. Sheesh! We’ve got a live Sponge-Zack Padded Pants on our hands.

Day Two—He’s resisting the padded training pants. I’ve seen more of Zack’s backside today than I care to admit. My favorite Zackisms so far include: “Don’t flusha me down the potty, Mommy.” (Could he tell I was tempted?) And then, “Mommy, I not a poo-poo. I Zack!” (Phew! Glad we cleared that up.)

Later… For the record, I’m not too keen on the idea of free will for a three-year old. Especially when it means forcibly putting on padded underpants that get discarded the minute I’m out of sight. And still, no tinkle in the potty.

Day Three—We took a potty break today. No, it’s not what you think; we took a break from potty training today. Not because I gave up (although I’m close), but because we went on Kaleb’s kindergarten field trip to the zoo (that’s another blog…). So he wore pull-ups until he woke up from his nap. And now that he’s wearing undies (I take that back—he took them off again) I’m just not sure where the kid’s packin’ his waste. He sure does know how to hold it. Where’s Dr. Sears when you need him?

Day Four—After just three full days of fighting with the kid who can’t stand the padded underpants, I surrendered. Potty-training bootcamp is officially over. My potty-training philosophy (yes, I have one) has always been that I’ll approach it when they seem ready. You know, aware of their bodily functions and generally interested in the toilet. Zack is neither (okay, so I’m fudging a bit. The kid definitely knows how to hold it). And more than that, he’s flat out boycotting the whole bathroom experience. Rich and I had decided (was it a past life or really just three years ago?) that we didn’t want to make potty training a bigger issue than it has to be. And these past three days it’s been HUGE! I allowed myself to become all too self-conscious that my 3-year old still wears diapers (although I’ve graduated the kid to pull-ups, whether or not the potty is his friend). So as of right now, my son is not potty trained, and he has yet to make one single happy deposit into the toilet. I’ve backed away from the bootcamp and have taken it down a notch to subliminal messaging (next week the hypnotist comes).

Sadly, there will more on this later…


stefanierj said...

OOOOH that is priceless! And I feel I am among friends now. Or at least fellow sergeants at Potty Training Boot Camp. :)

Absolutely Bananas said...

oh Sponge-zack, give your mommy a break and just go on the potty already! they do know how to make things interesting, don't they? we fought that battle for years, I think. But it's true what they say... they eventually go on the toilet. Not many 6th-graders out there still in pull-ups. Patience, grasshopper.