Thursday, January 20, 2011

Elliptical Dreams

Does this elliptical make my butt look big?
I want an elliptical.  A nice, inexpensive, calorie-burnin’, exercise while netflickin’, slimin’ and tonin’ machine.  

I am convinced it is the cure for the extra donk in my badonkadonk.  

So I have been scouring Craiglist and the MoneySaver for a deal, and in my mind, securing this elliptical is the same as squeezing my badonk into a pair of skinny jeans. I know my thinking is flawed, but please allow me to have my moment of delusion.  I deserve that much.

It was in working through aforementioned flawed logic that I realized exactly the type of person I am.  

I am the person who thinks that buying a bunch of plastic bins and hanging file folders is as good as organizing my home. 

I am the person who feels that renting a post hole digger is the same as installing a fence.  

I am the person who believes that making a to-do list is just as good as checking it off.

I am also the person who prays for the invention of a calorie-free cheesecake, although that’s totally unrelated to this post.

So, I’m trying to be completely mature and commit to being all healthy and stuff before I find my magic elliptical.  And that’s why I’m currently thinking about committing to eating healthy and exercising before I actually find it, although that really sounds like just a lot of work.  Not like my magic elliptical which will make burning thousands of calories a day easy cheesy.  

By the way, I’m also on the lookout for a walking broom that will do my laundry and a unicorn that will help with yard work.  Thank you.


Evil Pixie said...

Hahaha! Oh, my! You sound just like me!!! For example, just the other day I was thinking I'll only eat half the cheese cake instead of the whole thing because I'm watching my calories. Though, to be fair, the cheese cake was only 6 inches in diameter... See, there I go again! :)

shauna said...

I know! I've really got to get serious about this whole thing though, with or without a magic elliptical, I've decided. I'll keep you posted though (and I wouldn't be able to pass up cheesecake either, and small cheesecake is free, calorie wise. At least that's what I've heard...).

Elisa said...

I too have made lists and then mistaken that self-satisfied feeling for an accomplishment. I will hope that all of your elliptical dreams come true, but will also remind you that you look great! After all, you still get picked up in the as-is section of D.I. Apparently that extra "donk" is workin' for ya!

shauna said...

Oh, Elisa. You're too kind. But I acquired the extra donk AFTER that guy hit on me at DI. *sigh*