|Does this elliptical make my butt look big?|
I want an elliptical. A nice, inexpensive, calorie-burnin’, exercise while netflickin’, slimin’ and tonin’ machine.
I am convinced it is the cure for the extra donk in my badonkadonk.
So I have been scouring Craiglist and the MoneySaver for a deal, and in my mind, securing this elliptical is the same as squeezing my badonk into a pair of skinny jeans. I know my thinking is flawed, but please allow me to have my moment of delusion. I deserve that much.
It was in working through aforementioned flawed logic that I realized exactly the type of person I am.
I am the person who thinks that buying a bunch of plastic bins and hanging file folders is as good as organizing my home.
I am the person who feels that renting a post hole digger is the same as installing a fence.
I am the person who believes that making a to-do list is just as good as checking it off.
I am also the person who prays for the invention of a calorie-free cheesecake, although that’s totally unrelated to this post.
So, I’m trying to be completely mature and commit to being all healthy and stuff before I find my magic elliptical. And that’s why I’m currently thinking about committing to eating healthy and exercising before I actually find it, although that really sounds like just a lot of work. Not like my magic elliptical which will make burning thousands of calories a day easy cheesy.
By the way, I’m also on the lookout for a walking broom that will do my laundry and a unicorn that will help with yard work. Thank you.