Instead of spreading Christmas cheer, today I'm spreading some type of grinchy virus. In hopes of appeasing the nasty thing, I'm going to take it easy today, drinking peppermint tea while snacking on chewable Vitamin C. Hopefully, I'll be in more of a posty mood later this week. Until then, here's an old Post Register column:
|My new cellphone|
I’m on a new phone plan, and it includes texting. BION B4 I wz a txtN vrgn.
The cell that came with the new phone plan has a fold-out keypad. A writer using a cell with a fold-out keypad on a plan with unlimited free texting is a nuisance to society, or at least her family and friends, Ncase u wr 1dering.
I can’t believe that I didn’t appreciate the value of texting before. It keeps me connected with all my contacts while minimizing the time I have to spend actually talking to people. And I’m getting smarter. Or is that more smart? Mor smrt? Either way it’s NhancN my lyf.
I’m sure that everyone who knows me is grateful for the manner in which I reach out daily, sometimes hourly, to touch their lives with my abbreviated words of wit and wisdom. Here are just some of the things I’ve been able to share:
To my ex: Plz hv kdz 911 b4 bed.
To my mom: Dd u let d c@ ot? (as opposed to “hu let d K9s ot?” which you could probably find and send as an annoying ringtone, of which I now have many).
To my BFF: Im hngry. Dd U e@ NEthng gud 2day?
To my kids: lov yr guts
My skilz r unbleevabl. I can’t help but wonder, will I be the first person awarded a Pulitzer Prize in texting? Aim high, that’s what I always say.
Okay, so here’s where I come clean. I couldn’t exorcise the English major from me that easily. The truth is, I don’t abbreviate very much and my texts are long and verbose, which I believe, makes them more annoying. I use commas and apostrophes and even hyphenate when appropriate. And then there’s the pictures. I take pictures of my sister’s dog, her baby, my mother cooking, women wearing sweats that say Spank Me on the rear and then I send them with pithy captions.
I also have the tendency to text excessively (remember, these are long, verbose texts). In fact, I’ve texted my BFF so much that her husband has actually said, “Is that Shauna texting, AGAIN?”
I do have a fear of texting messages to the wrong people. Like sending questions about Weight Watchers points to my real estate agent instead of my sister-in-law. Or sending tirades about my ex to my ex instead of my BFF. Texting is a complex exercise in human relations. That or it’s a total waste of time. I haven’t decided which yet.
Either way, it’s free on my phone plan so I will continue texting my friends and family to death. TJTWIR. (That’s just the way I roll, FYI.)