Friday, June 13, 2008

Summer Vacation

I know I’m out of season, but for the last few days “It’s Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas” has been stuck in my brain. And while it has felt more like winter around here than summer, the truth is the line—“And mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again”—has become my mantra, my positive affirmation, the theme song for the next two and a half months of my life.

School has been out for approximately 20 days here in Idaho Falls, 19 if you choose not to count Memorial Day. Is it just my children, or is summer a whiny wasteland for all little people under twelve?

I have great kids. Really, I do. But the three of them, together, have bad chemistry. If they’re not fighting, they’re scheming which is never good for me, the lone adult outnumbered by her children. At least when they’re fighting I know where they are and what’s going on. It’s when things become quiet that I start to worry.

In the last two weeks one of more of my children has been grounded for five years, sat on timeout for a total of 164 minutes, flooded the toilet, flooded the bathtub, run down the street in their pajamas, ridden the cat like a donkey, watched Barbie: Mariposa 14 times, quoted inappropriate lines from Monty Python: In Search of the Holy Grail, eaten dirt, gotten lost in the grocery store, started a collection of potato bugs, released and/or killed his sister’s collection of potato bugs, and wacked her brother on the head with a broom.

In response to the list above, I have said each of the following at least once in the last 20 days of summer:

Don’t hit/kick/bite/scratch/pinch/touch/look at/spit at/tease your brother/sister.
Go apologize to your brother/sister.
Give that back to him/her.
Don’t talk to your brother/sister that way.
Don’t talk to me that way.
Sit on timeout.
Do you want to go to your room?
What did you just say?
What’s in your mouth?
Don’t roll your eyes at me, Mister!
We don't go outside naked.
You don’t know where that’s been.
Flush the toilet.
Come here.
Come here!
Come here!!!

Parents, it's gonna be a great summer! All 49 and a half days of it.


Rosie said...

We haven't really had summer like weather yet either! My Mom in St. Anthony said that there was snow! I am so with you with the children. I like it when they will find a book and read!
I crave quiet--I keep thinking that I know that I will miss the noise--but it is so hard to believe that I will ever miss them screaming at each other!

Tola said...

three words: Vacation Bible School. of course, you dont have that there, but its a god-send (no pun intended) for southerners and out here in PA as well. in lieu of VBS, i guess you could get an extra-large prescription for Xanax and dose all the kids.

Spammon said...

I was really expecting to see "Don't put that in the toilet". Because, I say that often. To Porter...not Lindsey.

LikeAstaR said...

in Utah almost all the schools are year around now.. sort of frustrating, sort of great, if you ask me!

micah6_8 said...

Ah....what wonderful memories, Shauna. Yeah, I know they don't seem so wonderful now, but they will soon be that. Been there, said that....again and again and again. I guess that's what being a mom is...! "Train up and child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." (Prov 22:6). And as a parent of "old" kids (25 and 20, your cousins), I will guarantee you that what you are teaching them will be remembered when you want it to be...out there in the world.

Aunt Pam

shawn said...

This IS a posting too many can relate to, especially if you've spent ANY length of time with the junior members of our respective familial trees ...

You echoed the delightful "Mom's Song" that has been frequently posted around the net, and at my blog:

sorry, shouldn't do shameless self promotion ... but ... I gotta do what I gotta do ... "I'll thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me !!"

Anonymous said...

Mariposa is clearly not the best barbie movie, mostly because they don't use the same voice actress that they do in all they other ones, and it's annoying. I like Island Princess, Swan Lake, and Princess and the Pauper best. Barbies third musical is coming out this fall, and it is going to
r0x0r so hard.
PS: I own every Barbie movie ever.

shauna said...

Rosie, the weather has soooo much to do with this post. It's supposed to get warmer from here on in. I want SUN!

Tola, Oh for summer camp! The truth is, I love summer. And I love spending it with my kids. And I would feel guilty if I sent them away. If only there was a place I could send them when they were tired, cranky, and quarrelsome. Oh, that's right--there is a place. It's called Daddy's House. :) (Dear Ex-hub, I'm just goshin')

Spammon, Two years ago I so would have listed that.

Likeastar, Year-round schools? *sigh* It probably wouldn't be so appealing if I weren't trying to figure out how to make money while my kids are out of school.

Aunt Pam, I'm so glad you read my blog! My mom tells me the same thing. And I try to remember (when I'm not pulling my hair out...)

Shawn, That line, "Don't roll your eyes at me, Mister" was in homage to her.

Sydney, My daughter would LOVE to come and visit you sometime (and watch them over and over and over again...)

shawn said...

BTW Shauna ... I don't think there is such a thing as an INAPPROPRIATE line in Holy Grail ... but that's just MY opinion!!!

And the mom song rules !!

Anonymous said...

This post brings back memories!! I have to deal with teens now, and I have not guilt about putting them in as many programs as they want to be in. "I am Bored," is what I hear, all day. They never like my suggestions, unless it involves going to the mall to spend money.

I hope the weather is good to you. It is much more fun to be with children (any age) outside.

Thanks, once again, for the smile this am. Your posts always do that for me.

Anonymous said...

My kids are all older now and sometimes - just sometimes - I wish for the days that they were little and home all summer long. Really. I am not kidding. So enjoy!

Spammon - I have two that plotted together what to flush down the toilet - apples, keys, toy cars, their socks, candy, wash cloths and wads and wads of toilet paper. I had to pull the toilet up to unclog it several times. I am sure Shauna has said "Don't put that in the toilet!" too - she just forgot that one!

Shauna - have a great summer. It'll be over before you know it!

xo - K

Carrie Wilson Link said...

My kids didn't get done 'til yesterday, and yes, I have counted how many days until school starts. 79.

Tracee said...

Day 3 of summer vacation I think I said to my husband, "Those damn homeschoolers must be out of their everloving minds! Thank God there is somewhere to send them all day during most of the year or one of us wouldn't make it."

Likastar - I had forgotten about year round school in Utah. Maybe there IS a reason to move back after all.

Gustogirl said...

I am not quite there yet. It's not Summer break here for 3 more days. Secretly, I am dreading it, but I am excited too. I am sure that excitement will fade very fast though. I am trying to plan lots of fun activities to keep everyone as busy as possible. Hope you survive it!!!

Melodrama Mama said...

We are in school until Tuesday and I am mentally preparing to deal with a similar dynamic with all three of my kiddos home. However, on Wednesday I am leaving to stay with my parents for a couple weeks - This way we can tag team the kids because my DH will be traveling a lot this summer!

Janice said...

Amen sister!

Chris said...

Tomorrow is our last day of school and I know that your list is going to be well known here. I love summer, then I don't. Something about structure.
Oh and "mom song" is my life. :-) Does it help to know you are not alone. Good luck!

Tash said...

Yeah I think I may have said all of those, too!! What does the rest of the summer hold?

Anonymous said...

Where are you, missy!