Thursday, February 28, 2008

Sunday Musings, Hosted by Leah Belknap

Those of you who read Up in the Night regularly (and I thank you for the volunteer effort) know that my daughter has some of her best moments in church. In fact, I like to call them her Sunday Musings.

This past Sunday was no different. Assigned to give a talk in sacrament meeting, I arrived about 20 minutes early, my rowdy crew in tow, so I could farm my children out to sit with different families before church started. We could hear the choir practicing in the chapel as I hung up Zack’s coat and the kids loitered in the foyer. At the precise moment the choir ended their song, Leah yelled at Kaleb, “I’m going to kick you in the penis!” The elderly woman walking past seemed to clutch her heart and stagger a bit. Two older boys stood by stupefied, waiting to see what I would do.

I whisked my children into the hallway where I told Leah that “penis” was not a very reverent word; I also told Kaleb that whatever he had done to provoke the threat couldn’t have been much better.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve questioned our decision to teach our children the anatomically correct words for their privates.

“I’m going to kick you in the weenie” would've been better.


SuburbanCorrespondent said...

You're wrong - the made-up words are better for public consumption. I vastly regret not having the forethought of naming "boogers" something more polite.

jason said...

That story is even better than all the times when Rory bumps me in Church and in her loud voice says "Daddy wake up,... wake up Daddy!"
I can't seem to keep those eyes up some days.

RachelT said...

I love that the church lady staggered a bit. Somehow women forget that kids will be kids and therei s no containing them!! Especially when such ladies are at church!

Janice said...

The other day at church my 2 year old was coloring before the meeting started and we sit on the back row. A man got up and walked over to pick up a prgram which was just behind our bench. Morgan looked up quickly then back down to what she ws doing and said (very loudly) " Who was that? Jesus?" I died, but it was pretty funny, the people in front of us heard and giggled for a while.


I agree completely that the P word does not qualify as reverent verbiage. I believe that my family possesses the record for ir-reverence in my ward. One day, when we were late, my two oldest barged into the chapel, mid way through the passing of the sacrament. It wouldn't have been too bad except they were screaming at each other over who got there first. Then there was the Sunday that I tried to remind my son to be quiet by grabbing his leg firmly. I was slightly aggrivated with him, so was holding his leg tightly and he loudly yelled "aaaggghhh! You're hurting me mom! You're hurting me!" And I'll never forget my youngest loudly protesting a certain speaker by saying "this is the most boring thing I ever heard!" In actuality he was correct. The talk was very dull.

Rosie said...

My husband is a Bishop in a Singles ward so there are NO children. So, it is very, very quiet. One Sunday my 3 yr old got away from me right as my Husband was getting up to conduct. My sweet little boy went from the back of the chapel in the middle. He gets to the isle, goes down to the very front pew, stands up on it, JUMPS all the way across it, goes back the other way. Husband says nothing! Before I can walk down to get him(in my very red blouse) he jumps again. As I get to him, he tries to get away. He then throws a large bus into the congregation.

After church I had numerous members ask me why I stopped him, he was the entertainment!

Luckily, the guy caught the bus so it didn't kill someone!

Aren't they a joy?

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of the funnniest things I have heard. I needed a laugh tonight. I too, taught my girls the correct names for their private parts. When they were little, I recall many times when they would use it (correctly) in a sentence and shock friends, family and neighbors. Now they are too cool and wouldn't dare. At the time, I thought it was so cool and funny.

Queeny said...

That's too funny.

I have to say, teaching them the proper terms won't keep them from picking up "slang" terms from their peers.

For instance, I taught my boys to say testicles, but they prefer ... well, you know.

Erin said...

I am still trying to convince Rory that her private part is not a penis, or her bum. When she does "remember" she calls is a vajah. Baby steps, I guess. But nothing in church---wait I have to go back and delete that--I am sure I just jinxed myself.

L said...

I haven't taught my kids the right words yet. They haven't really asked. I will get around to it, but for now I am glad that they don't have the language to yell what Leah did. Had I heard her, I probably would have laughed out loud, but then felt guilty that I made you job harder because kids love it when they get a laugh.

Gustogirl said...

Man, it is this new swap account that keeps messing me up!! I am such a retard, that last comment was of course me again!!

shauna said...

MelodramaMama, I heart you! I have had similar experiences (too many to admit, actually). One time (Kaleb was 3, Leah 2, and Zack a newborn) when I had to leave church we completely disrupted sacrament. As we were leaving the overflow (me carrying Zack in the carseat with one hand and dragging Kaleb to the foyer with the other) the door, which was way too heavy, slammed behind me, leaving Leah behind to which she responded by pounding on the door with her little fists, crying, "Don't leave me, Mama. Don't leave me..." Of course there was a reason I was dragging Kaleb--he had just been excessively noisy, so we had the entire congregation's attention by the time Leah made herself known.

Janice, I love that story. Kaleb and Leah used to think our former bishop was the prophet. They would point at him, excited, and say, "Mom, there's the prophet." Unfortunately our bishop wasn't THAT old (although his hair was white), so it was a titch embarassing.

Jason, You're taking after dad. I think we would have been afraid to tell Dad to wake up though... :)

Rosie, I heart you too! A bus? That's just classic!

Erin, Oh, I hope that didn't jinx you... Rory's too cute though. Anything she says would just crack people up, even "vahjah."

Rachel said...

I have yet to teach the correct words...I don't have a problem with it...just haven't gotten around to it yet. I always say to the children "your particulars"
As for could go by the old adage of "children should be seen and not heard" thereby she could have swiftly and silently kicked him---ummm you know where---and bypassed the embarrassing word altogether.
Just my two cents...then again...I am still figuring out this whole parenting thing.

Spammon said...

You may enjoy this then:

Injured bad.