Monday, December 10, 2007

Leah at Church, Again...


Yesterday, Leah sat next to me in church (sound familiar?), cross-legged on the pew with her dress covering her legs. She was concentrating on her notebook, painstakingly placing stickers (thanks, mom) all over the cover. When out of nowhere (and in the stark silence of the chapel) she let loose the biggest piece of flatulence that congregation has ever heard. And at first I had to look back, expecting to see a gassy elephant sitting behind us. But no. It was my dainty daughter, acting as if letting one rip in the middle of church was completely natural. And not to be gross, but it had a noticeable flapping effect and was long. Long enough for me to look back at the pew behind us, not see an elephant sitting there, and then turn back to my daughter and say, “Stop, Leah,” to which she responded (yes, still flatulating), “But, Mom, it’s my toot. I CAN’T stop that.”

Why, of course!

And that’s when the man sitting in front of us looked back (expecting to see an elephant) and laughed out loud.

16 comments:

suburbancorrespondent said...

As long as they knew it was your daughter, not you.

shauna said...

SC. Sadly, I was hoping the same thing...

Erin said...

That is hilarious. At least she didn't make a big deal out of it. My kids would have laughed and talked (loudly) about who just farted. Then Rory would have said, "Excuse me." Isn't motherhood a riot?!

Candygirlflies said...

Oh, Priceless.

"And The Trumpet Shall Sound", as they say (or, rather, SING... The choir WASN'T singing that, were they???)

xo CGF

Tola said...

roflmAo! oh arent kids the best comedians?? did my mom call you today?

Carrie Wilson Link said...

Hard to argue with that!

love.

Gustogirl said...

I am laughing! That is so funny. I'll never forget when Clark had some all strung together, ya know what I mean. Then afterwards, he said, "excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me." I was happy he was saying excuse me, but found it hilarious that he felt he need to say excuse me to each individual one strung so closely together.

Midwest Mommy said...

Oh my goodness! That is too funny.

linds said...

ha! Way to go Leah. It is harmful to hold those in you know ;)

shauna said...

Linds, My brother, Erin's husband, used to tell me the same thing (I was the bossy older sister who used to lecture them on public flatulence). And now I'm paying the price. Just this morning, Leah said, "I tooted," and then followed it up with "I'm just a tootin' machine."

Feener said...

priceless. i had to share it on my site !!

Anonymous said...

Ya for Leah! You can't help to love the little ones. :) Love your sis Denise

RachelT said...

That is so funny.. and I was thinking the same thing about making sure they knew it was her.

shawn said...

HILARIOUS !!!!!!

But mom, these things JUST Happen!!
and like others have noted - it isn't good to hold it in ...

I wish I had folks like you and your kids inthe Churches I've served in the past ... some laughter, joy and the odd belly rippling flatulence is good for the soul !!!

They do say - "Make a JOYFUL noise unto the Lord!!" There's a reason little kids happily make the pharting noises with thier hands and arms ...

thanks for sharing this ... it has me howling with laughter ...

(to accentuate this - my word verification is ztyGAS !!!! - LOL!!!! There's NO escape!!)

Eileen said...

Nothing like church to let it rip, or I mean toot. I have to agree, at least most people knew it was your daughter and not you (you hope). Too funny, and just another one of those things we LOVE about motherhood!!
XOXO

Lauren said...

When do they outgrow this? Megan is 5 and still does the same thing! :)