Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Diapurse

2000 BC (Before Children) I used a strappy purse. You know the kind—the wallet on a rope. Everything I needed fit in that tidy number: cash, credit cards, pictures of friends and family, lipgloss. Never would I arrive somewhere and think, Dang, how could I have left the wetwipes? Or, please tell me there’s a Lightning McQueen in here somewhere. I was childless and streamlined, coming and going without much forethought. And then I had babies.

I was never much for diaper bags but being the sharp new mom I was, I soon realized my strappy purse was no longer going to work. So I upgraded to a Mother Purse that was big enough to carry diapers and sippy cups but not big enough to double as a beach bag.

Enter Purse Party. Finally I had the time and inclination to hand-select a bag that would carry all the stuff I was starting to accumulate as a frazzled and disorganized mom. This is the first purse I picked:

And then my mother gave me this one (recognizing that I was a little jealous of my beloved sister-in-law Erin’s diaper bag of the same style):

Adorable, right? Fully of personality and color. I love them both, but here's the problem. I use them to pack the most ridulous things around. That one above? It's been my bag of choice this entire Christmas season. And I only realized it's been loaded with too much stuff when I had to dump it out to find my cell phone. So last night I decided it was time to clean it out and here’s what I found (I call it Purse Vomit):

Things of note include: three Sonic straws (one without the sanitary paper covering), one loose WalMart receipt, a Radiator Springs Lightning McQueen (note: not Zack’s favorite), a clean diaper that—due to its long, rumpled journey—looks used, and one homemade invitation to a church Christmas party. How could I go from a wallet on a rope to a diapurse—that’s what I call this sad little hybrid between a purse and diaper bag. Catchy, right?

I’m just saying that I haven’t transitioned into my matured state of motherhood very gracefully. There are streamlined mothers out there, wearing fashionable clothes and carrying what they need (read: no Sonic straws or matchbox cars) in a tight little purse that matches their shoes. Me? I’m carrying a junk drawer in a bag (albeit a very cute one).

I’m going to have to work on that one in 2008…

10 comments:

Eileen said...

I think you are one styling mom! Love the bags, and the best part is no one can see inside them. I laughed a lot reading this, cause my kids are big, and I have no excuse for carrying the junk I do in my bag. Who knew Coach leather bags could stretch so far?
I will join you in your quest, we can do this together!
Merry Christmas!!
XOXOX

linds said...

Seriously I would take your cute diapurse anyday! I love it!

It is so funny to see EVERYTHING you had in one bag. Our diapers always fall to the bottom and end up looking used too. I wonder what treasures we would find in our bag? I know for a fact there are lots of crumbs and boogar rags in there :) You have just motivated me to clean out the diapurse!

Spammon said...

I know nothing about diaper bags. But I do know theres snacks in there that I can steal that are good too.

Gustogirl said...

That is one of those things I am going to tackle when I don't need to carry crackers or diapers anywhere. My diapurse always has a layer of crumbs on the bottom. Then I clean it out and vow it will never get that bad again, but then low and behold a week later, it's just as bad.

shauna said...

FYI, there was an entire handful of crumbs (popcorn and graham cracker, by the way) that I removed before taking the picture... Oh, and lint. Lots of lint.

Candygirlflies said...

Heheee... HerBadMother challenged us to clean out our purses and show the contents last summer... and mine was SO awful, it required TWO PHOTOS to show all the gruesome contents...

It's all just part of motherhood, babe... And the fact that your bag looks so swish and funky from the OUTSIDE means you're doing just fine. Probably even better.

Let's face it-- you and I will be awfully sad, on that terrible day that we realize our (tiny, clean) purses don't contain half-eaten chocolate chip cookies, Lightning McQueens and about fifty zillion pacifiers (you know, all the ones my kid couldn't fit into her OWN purse)...

Happy, happy Christmas, Shauna-- I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love your way.

xo CGF

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh I laughed so hard! I've gotten to the point where I don't clean out my purse anymore, I take out the essentials (wallet and keys) and throw the entire thing away and get a new one. At the local thrift store because purses are ridiculously expensive nowadays! ;-) Love to you and yours this holiday.

Mary

Erin said...

I didn't even have a purse before kids. I put my license and debit card in my back pocket and my keys in my front pocket. It was definitely diaper bag shock when I needed it. I have a lot more garbage in mine -- receipts, wrappers, dried out wipes and crumpled up tissues. Good luck though! Miss you here!

jason said...

Erin has me carry all of her stuff. I find at times that while looking through my own wallet I find Erins library card, debit card, and other misc. stuff that now has become my responsibility to not loose!!

My job is always getting the diaper bag ready for church (snacks, water cups, butt wipes, books and much more.) The first thing I do is dump the crap out on the couter and do a big arm-slide across the couter into the garbage.

Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

You've inspired me... I'm cleaning out my purse tonight!! (Oooh, the hot things we parents do on a Friday night.)