RE: Saturday night’s “activities”
Now would be a good time to assess the activities that transpired the night of Saturday, August 4th, 2007, since we (i.e. me) have had amble time to cool down and reflect.
Understanding that you are not yet ready to deposit your poopies and peepees into the potty (having tried 4 vigilant attempts at “training” thus far), I appreciate your need to further acclimate to the big boy method of going to the bathroom. However, I would ask that given the current diaper-friendly situation, you consider the following the next time you need to fill your drawers (i.e. pampers, the generic brand).
- Do not remove said diapers once you have taken a juicy dump.
- Do not place your soiled buttocks on the carpet or furniture once you have removed those diapers.
- Once placed in the bathtub to remove the poopage that resulted from the unauthorized diaper-removal, do not sneak from the tub and leave poopy butt prints on the porcelain while the parental authority (i.e. me) goes to get PJ's.
- And absolutely DO NOT take the parental authority's cell phone (i.e. my cell phone) back into the tub with you to hold on your chest while you practice the back-float in very unstable waters.
I appreciate your consideration in the aforementioned requests and anticipate that we will both better endure the current diaper situation if you choose to honor them. I would also ask that when you are ready to use the toilet, and dear heaven above let that be soon, you inform me immediately.