Kaleb, barely six years old, was kissed yesterday for the first time by someone he is not related to. That someone is an adorable little girl who lives down the street. Floozy.
Apparently, while playing swords and guns in her backyard, she professed her undying love to my son and planted a big, wet one on his lips. On. The. Lips. Whatever happened to playing hard to get? To sending a note with check-boxes? To being saturated with Kooties? Those were the good ole days.
Worse yet, I got the information second-hand. Okay, so I eavesdropped on a conversation Kaleb had with his friend Kaiden. I’ll fast-forward to the good parts.
“Kaleb has a girlfriend,” Kaiden sang (you know the tune). “Kaleb has a girlfriend.”
“That’s gross,” Kaleb said. “I told her she would give me germs.”
“That’s okay,” Kaiden said. “You can marry her.”
This is where I butted in. “Sorry, guys, but we have a rule in our family. No kids are allowed to get married until they’re 30.”
“My mom lets me get married whenever I want,” Kaiden said. (Note to self: share this with Kaiden’s mom.)
Later, while alone with Kaleb at the grocery store, I made a few clarifications to the new family rule.
“Kaleb, you know that you’re too young to have a girlfriend, right?”
“I know, Mom,” he said. “I don’t want a girlfriend.”
“You need to wait until you’re about 16 before you can have a girlfriend.”
“How about 21?” he offered.
“Okay,” he said.
I think it’s safe to sleep for another few years…