Through something called the Big Fix Tour, the Utah Humane Society will spay or neuter pets for cheap. That’s why I was standing in a line of disgruntled animals and owners with my own three kids, and two kitties in a cardboard box. It was 7:30 in the morning and cold, but I was happy to be there after combat-crawling through happy meal boxes and sippy cups under the back seat of our van to wrestle two kitties into a box. Admittedly, this event was poorly planned on my part. But we were in line and on the docket.
After 30 minutes, my youngest was poking the dogs around us into a canine frenzy. I decided car seats were a good solution to my problem, so someone held my spot while I buckled my kids in. At this point I was feeling like a despicable person. 1. I had two kitties in a box. 2. My kids would soon be locked in a van. It was a slippery slope at that point. So I, 3, placated my children with sour gummy worms. Having thus sugared my children into submission, I resumed my place in line.
Now imagine how I must have looked. I barely had time to get my kids dressed, much less doll myself up, and on good days I'm lucky to brush my teeth before leaving the house. It was then the cat owner two animals back “pinked” me. “Hi!” She smiled. “I'm a Mary Kay consultant and I think you need to be 'pinked'.” She explained that she was gifting me thirteen dollars worth of free Mary Kay products. I wasn't sure whether to be grateful or insulted.
With the pink card in my back pocket, I was two animals away from the Big Fix Tour van. It was then my daughter escaped, tripping the car alarm and all the animals with it. Minutes later she roused them again with her scream, “We can't leave our kitties here!”
Finally the chaos was over. And when I got back into the van to drive home? It wouldn’t start. I had to ask the Mary-Kay lady to jump start my car. She was happy to help, and I was relieved to see her drive up, not in a Mary-Kay pink Cadillac, but in a white van like mine. “A typical day in the life of a mother…” she said, forever smiling, and reminded me that if I used the card, she'd give me a free facial.
4. Caught frumpy at the Big Fix Tour. All this by 8:45 in the morning.
I was convinced the kitties were having a better day than I was.