Elliptical Dreams

Does this elliptical make my butt look big?

I want an elliptical.  A nice, inexpensive, calorie-burnin’, exercise while netflickin’, slimin’ and tonin’ machine.  

I am convinced it is the cure for the extra donk in my badonkadonk.  

So I have been scouring Craiglist and the MoneySaver for a deal, and in my mind, securing this elliptical is the same as squeezing my badonk into a pair of skinny jeans. I know my thinking is flawed, but please allow me to have my moment of delusion.  I deserve that much.

It was in working through aforementioned flawed logic that I realized exactly the type of person I am.  

I am the person who thinks that buying a bunch of plastic bins and hanging file folders is as good as organizing my home. 

I am the person who feels that renting a post hole digger is the same as installing a fence.  

I am the person who believes that making a to-do list is just as good as checking it off.

I am also the person who prays for the invention of a calorie-free cheesecake, although that’s totally unrelated to this post.

So, I’m trying to be completely mature and commit to being all healthy and stuff before I find my magic elliptical.  And that’s why I’m currently thinking about committing to eating healthy and exercising before I actually find it, although that really sounds like just a lot of work.  Not like my magic elliptical which will make burning thousands of calories a day easy cheesy.  

By the way, I’m also on the lookout for a walking broom that will do my laundry and a unicorn that will help with yard work.  Thank you.